I have a quiet moment, so I thought I'd write a little. I know for most of us, finding this quite moment is difficult. We have so many things tugging at our time. For me it is a job that is emotionally taxing, teenagers, my wife, the day to day things that need to be done, and it seems there is never time for anything else. Not all things that tug on us are negative, take my wife and girls, I love them with all my heart and all I do is to spend time with them. To provide for them. To be as present for them as possible. But it all adds up and the moments of quiet are few and far between.
Things have been going well. I have been doing a "boot camp" with my girls several mornings per week and have started walking. My weight is going down and I feel bubbly, joyful, and happy. Everything makes my heart sing. I am mushy and wearing my heart on my sleeve. My love for everyone I meet wants to burst out of my chest.
Yet, I know as well as I am feeling right now, that there will be a down time. I've been thinking about something that one of my doctors has said on multiple occasions: We are not promised an easy life. Our culture idolizes a life of happiness, stability, and no strife; but life is messy, gritty, and dirty at times. Yes, we want an easy life, but I have yet to find someone who has that at all times.
Our life is what we make of it through our choices. In our church we call this freedom of choice, Agency. Every choice we make has consequences whether positive or negative. Hanging on to ideals that can't be met is also a choice. This choice can lead to a disillusionment with life and lead to a feeling of being trapped.
We have all heard that we have to make our own happiness, but it seems that it can be so difficult to pull ourselves out of our rut, our habits, to make that choice to make yourself happy. I speak for experience. As recently as a few months ago my mantra is I don't want to life anymore. This is not a suicidal thought, but one of being weary from all life has thrown at me. I look at the fact that I am only 47, have a lot of life ahead of me and I was tired.
Our church focuses on the joy that life can have but acknowledges that life is rough and it is easy for us humans to get bogged down. Even with the teachings of our church, I was struggling. I have always put my trust in God, but I still would have difficult times. What that trust does for me is reminding me that life is always changing and that I am not truly stuck.
I received a swift kick in the butt from a friend of mine, and started moving again. I've been walking and doing a modified "boot camp" with the girls. I'm loosing weight, and my appetite has changed. I am eating healthier and living by the doctrine of the church...as much as I can. I love my family and acknowledge that each of us is a child of God. My outlook has changed and I am seeing the joy in life again. I am feeling accomplished and not quite as rundown.
We were never promised an easy life. Our moments may be few and far between, but let's celebrate those joyful, happy, full of love moments that we are granted. The more joyful we are, the more frequently these moments happen. I encourage you to make the choice of happiness, of acknowledging the messy, grittiness of life. I encourage you to find your moments and relish the blissfulness that it brings.
Blessings!
