OMG

"I will fear not what flesh can do" PS 56:4
"Whosoever belongeth to my church need not fear" D&C 10:55
"God has not given us the spirit of fear" Tim 1:7
"Be very courageous to keep and to do all that is written" Josh 23:6


On Tuesday, January 30, 2018 in a small town of 6870 people, a bank was robbed.  This bank was located across the street from the local middle school; the middle school where my twin daughters attend.  I received an automated recording from the school stating that the Middle School was on lockdown.  Even though the recording stated the children were safe, my mind flashed to an active shooter within the school. 


Now, I was lucky, I had my wife available to find out what was happening by being on the internet and Facebook.  We quickly knew that the bank robber had escaped and that the school was on lockdown because he had been armed.  What I found out from my girls is that there was not any communication as to the nature of the lockdown to the teachers or the students.  Because of this day and age, many staff and students had cell phones and were also able to figure out what was happening. 


Now, the following is the accounts of my daughters.  Initially, everyone thought it was a drill, so there wasn't any great hurry to lock doors and turn off lights.  The principle then came on the PA system and announced that this was not a drill.  At that point, everyone moved to lock doors, turn out lights, and move furniture in front of the doors.  One of my daughters stated that at that moment she thought she was going to die.  She also found a strength in helping others in her class where were scared.  My other daughter found out that playing board games helped her and the other kids stay calm. 


The school was on lockdown for 3 hours.  That means that the students and staff have to stay where they are.  A couple of teachers on their off period wound up in a supply closet for all 3 hours.  This also means that no one could go to the bathroom or get their lunches from their lockers.  Students were having to use trash cans as a "pee bucket".  I know of one teacher who tried to make sure there was privacy by placing the trash can in a closet.


I believe these staff were heroes, they had to stay calm and focus on the students even when they are terrified themselves.  All reports I have heard, the staff was amazing during the 3 hour lockdown.  After 3 hours, the school was placed on lockout which allows the students and staff to move about the school but not leave and no one can come in.  This allowed the use of bathrooms and getting of lunch.  At the end of the day, the children that normally walk home had to have a parent come to pick up and sign them out.  The lines were long and the children weary, but everyone was able to go home safe and sound.


I also consider the teller at the bank a hero as she did everything right.  No one was injured and how the teller at the bank handled this situation is why no one was hurt.


Most parents worry about loosing their children physically and emotionally.  Having a child injured or killed in a situation like a school shooting is something I fear.  I was praying all day for all involved in this incident. My wife dealt with the panicked chattering of 2 13 year old girls.  Both recounting their individual stories as they were in different classes.  Me, I held my sobbing daughter; she was sobbing because she thought she was going to die.  No parent should have to hold their sobbing child because they thought they were going to die by someone else's hand.


Then today, there is a school shooting at a Middle School in California.  I don't know much about the specifics, but having gone through many of the emotions just a few days ago, I have to ask, when is this going to stop? 


I am all for guns, we own several.  Guns can be a useful tool.  Do we really need our citizenry armed with automatic weapons used by our military? Do we need to have guns so easily obtained?  Shouldn't we have some proof of gun safety class for licensure? Should we have a licensing process?
I feel we should.  We need to pass a test to drive a car. A car is just a much bigger weapon than a gun, but just as deadly.  So why is everyone freaking out about testing before buying a gun?  Yes, people kill people, but it is people with guns.  Is it going to stop the shootings, no, but if you have to pass a test, it may make it less appealing as an option. 


Holding your sobbing daughter because she thought she was going to die has really hit me in a way that I haven't processed enough to really verbalize.  This happened in our sleepy little town.  This can happen anywhere.  Those who have been effected by school shootings, my heart goes out to those who have been through real school shootings.  I pray we find a way to stop this epidemic.


Love to all!  Stay safe!

Mercy

Blessed are the merciful for they shall obtain mercy (Matthew 5:7, 3 Nephi 12:7)
Mercy can satisfy the demands of Justice (Alma 34:16)




Mercy is something I've been thinking about a lot lately.  Maybe its because I've seen a lot of people around me suffering over the last several months.  Where has the mercy been in their suffering?  Where has the mercy been in my suffering?




I guess part of this has been spurred by the suffering and passing of my Grandmother.  At the end of her life, my Grandmother suffered from hallucinations relating to dementia.  Some were quite upsetting; seeing a dog hit by a car, war raging outside her window, and others.  She had lived a lot of her life in a paranoid/fearful state.  So why, at the end of her 94 years, was she made to suffer with upsetting hallucinations.  Why couldn't she be at peace at the end of her life?  Where was the mercy?  I asked this over and over, I still don't really understand why she had to suffer through this.  I have to put my trust in a Heavenly Father that knows what's best for us.




This can be hard as we have agency/free will which can lead us away from the trusted path of Heavenly Father.  When we stray, do we deserve mercy? This is a resounding yes!  Mercy is a form of love which is what Christ commands us to give each other...love.  This does not mean that you put yourself or others in a situation that is harmful, mercy is not to be at the detriment of the one giving mercy, but you can still be kind and merciful without harming yourself or others.


Its hard in today's political environment to find mercy from either side.  Our ability to find any love or kindness for the opposing views is becoming more and more obvious.  I have to admit, I am guilty of this.  I have some thoughts and not so kind views of our current administration because of the lack of mercy that they show.  Yet, I need to be more merciful in my view and the way I talk about the other views.  Differing views are important, they help us love each other more deeply as we see where things are rooted in each belief.  Does this mean I am going to change my views, No! It does mean that I may be more willing to listen closer for that love and mercy instead of throwing out everything that is being said. 




There are bad and evil things in this life; it is natural for us to want to lash out and get revenge for things that have harmed us or wronged us.  Before calling out for retribution, ask yourself, is this really going to harm someone?  What type of love am I showing?  There was a teen that set a fire in our beautiful Columbia River Gorge this past summer.  It has destroyed several favorite trails.  There was anger at this teen for this action.  Honestly, people were so hostile on social media that any reports of the name of this teen or when the teen would be in court were withheld for the safety of the teen.  I was angry at the stupidity and wanted the book thrown at this teen, what would that accomplish?  It was a stupid teenage action.  Can any of us say we didn't do stupid shit when we were teens?  I can't.  "He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her" John 8:7. Stupid shit is part of being a teenager.  As a book my Mom read during my teen years, it is the stage of normal psychosis.  We need to show mercy rather than vilify those who we perceive to have wronged us.


I have tried to stay neutral politically and spiritually w/ this blog but am realizing that: 1) Many of my musings start as spiritual thoughts 2) my life revolves around my spirituality 3) that my spirituality and beliefs drive my political views 4) it would not be fair to you to hold back as I would not be the person you know and love if I continued to stay neutral.  Saying this, my intent is not to disparage or put down.  Views expressed here are mine and I am not wanting to force my beliefs onto anyone else.  There will always be someone who is offended or upset, this is not my intent.  You have been dually warned. 


I pray that you are uplifted and that your heart is filled with joy and love. 


Namaste,
Bridget