I received a message from someone I consider a good friend asking what about the men who hear grab them by the balls. My first reaction was, of course that isn't acceptable, no one should be spoken to or about like that. Men deserve respect too.
There is the part of me that then reacted, but men get the privileges that women don't. It doesn't make it right, but it does give guys a little bit of insight what it is like to be a woman in today's society. Maybe if men experienced what it is like to be a woman, they might change the way the treat women; there might be more respect for women. That the unwanted sexual advances would stop. That women wouldn't be seen as objects. There was a scene in The Fall where Gillian Anderson confronts this: Man F*%ks woman, man subject/ woman object, Woman F*&ks man, woman subject/man object is not comfortable for men. Men are not used to being objects.
Now this does not excuse behavior like saying grab them by the balls. Again, that is never acceptable behavior. In fact, as I think about it, we as a society have turned some of the tables over on our men. Even back in the 80's I remember my Dad remarking on how our media was demasculizing men. Now I have to admit, most men are 2 dimensional to me. I am a strong intuitive, and I don't sense a lot for men. Add to this that my Father is not a masculine man and I have not been exposed to a lot of other men. I have a sister, my own family is all women, so I am far from an expert on this subject. Yet, if women want to be equal with men, then we don't need to tear them down or expect them to be something different, we need to rise above and be that example of respect and kind treatment.
We have torn down the masculine male, saying that we want a man that can show emotions. Some how this has given way to the idea that being masculine and showing emotions cannot go together. I don't know, but I suspect that men can be both. Taking away their masculinity has left men confused about how to approach women and what women really are looking for in a mate. It used to be a caretaker, bread winner, a protector. In today's society, women can be the bread winner and there are usually aren't physical threats that men need to protect their family from. So where does this leave our men? How do they impress the women they want to get to know?
We have to help our men find their masculinity in this society. This is a new role that the first generation that needed to deal with it is now middle aged. Women are mothers, wives, in the work force, and there is even a word for this, Superwoman syndrome. How can men compete with this? How can we help our men find their new station in our society? First, treat everyone with respect. Don't make derogatory comments about their manhood or masculinity. Be supportive of who they are. Acknowledge that men are different and celebrate this difference. This isn't a competition, it is a partnership that we all have our roles. Support each other, build each other up. As a society, one gender doesn't need to dominate the other. Where are the shows where men and women work together and celebrate each person's individual talents? Men tend to be the butt of the jokes. That isn't acceptable.
To put it simply, we all have our place. For our men, that place has been a moving target for the last several decades. We as women need to support the new order of men in our society. We need to build a society where we all respect each other, stop the unwanted sexual advances, and celebrate or individual strengths. Men deserve respect too.
No comments:
Post a Comment